What’s worse is that football season is over, baseball season is weeks away and in NYC, we have the Knicks so the season has been over since Dolan purchased the team in ‘94. Being the sports fan that I am, it’s a painful, painful time. Pretty boy I’m all about the money when I know I can win. Floyd Mayweather has managed to ruin the super fight so that’s not an option. Also looking towards the the tourney is going to be tourture since the genius…

We're just "friends"

who traded the Knicks first round picks for talents like chinese starbury & eddie the bench heater has made watching college ball an excerise in pain!  So this is the longest part of the winter given the dearth of sporting enjoyment.

But really though… this time around it was actually fun watching the Olympics, because I got to yell at the screen on behalf of the skiers… Whoever was saying they weren’t looking too good should ski uphill for two hours themselves.

Now if they can only quit jumping events and show one at a time instead of 50 within 5 minutes.

What’s Failing

NBC is focusing way too much on wins. The people want fail. The viewers don’t care what flag the athlete is carrying unless they’re participators in tea parties (which is probably at most 3% of the American population). What’s my antedotal evidence? What video got more coverage on the interwebs: Apolo Ohno winning his 90th medal or the luger that split his head on the pole and died? While the luger’s death is extremely tragic, it’s his video that’s most popular. What video got the most play on NBC’s coverage of the olympics: Ohno or luger? Ohno. Why? Because NBC is dickriding the fuck out of America and its wins. NBC is ompletely out of touch with the modern day olympic viewer. They constantly try to bombard the viewer with these corny ass stories of dads telling their sons to concentrate on their goals, olympians that look up to their mentally disabled siblings and a skier overcoming an injury when he or she has the best health staff money can buy. This kind of feel good, rags to riches crap is outdated and lame. Again save it for the tea party crowd. I don’t currently own a TV. The only way I’ll buy one is when they invent technology that can allow me to filter out bullshit like this that is wasting electrons. Fuck 3D, I want a bullshit filter.

What they Should be Covering

Let’s think back to high school. I was in the top 10% of academics and bottom 10% of athletics. Meaning I was in the top 10 students of my class for all my studies and riding the pine (sitting on the bench) for basketball. I was expressing my passion for life in a poetic narrative written using the strict guidelines of Iambic pantameter. I was graphing linear equations using the slope intercept method without the aid of a calculator. I was able to clearly argue the points of the confederate revolution in the United States from an economic perspective.

I was sitting on the bench.

The rest of the basketball team was running a triangle offense. The rest of the basketball team was throwing alley oops off the backboard to each other. The rest of the team was getting laid. In all instances, with exception to the laid part, I got to observe. Since I was very immature and didn’t understand the world, my life lesson was: athletes will get laid and have a great time, smart people will not. All the while, I didn’t give a fuck and I just accepted it. It seemed all the athletes were good at only one thing: getting their balls in the hoop.

Sex and Parties

Official Sex Slave of the Olympics

Athletes at these olympics have endured intense training and haven’t been laid and relaxed for the past 2-4 years. They’re horny as fuck right now. Extrapolate the amount of tail the basketball players in my high school were getting in relation to what an olympic champion would get. It’s scaled several orders of magnitude. The olympic village must be looking a lot like jersey shore right now with snow instead of sand and good looking girls replacing orange wanna-be guidettes. These mfs are getting plenty of poontang.

The Official Condom for Curlers

Since conservative, boring ass NBC is keeping the after hours sexcapades under wraps, I leave it to the European press and the blogging world to give me the scoop on what’s really going on on the slopes of Whistler. After a simple google blog search of ’sex and the winter olympics’ I came across a shitload of results. Since Canadians aren’t morons that believe abstinence works and are graduates at the top 10% of their class during high school, they are prepared for these horny MFs. They distributed ~100,000 free condoms to the olympic village. They even included a special condom for curlers who are known to get the most amount of tail.

The Official Afrodisiac of Olympians

In a separate story, one of Canada’s athletes completely admits she’s going to slut it out once she’s done with all her events. Some of the stories don’t even involve athletes but the mere presense of having authority around the athletes (these would be the high school teachers in my analogy). Check this one out where there are allegations of sexual assault on staff and invitations for sex-trade workers to come aboard a cruise ship with olympic officials on it. And just to show you why I typically root against the Americans to win, I give you Scotty Lago. This mf won bronze, took the medal to a club and took pictures of himself living out every whiteboy’s dream. The Americans could’ve just let the mf live out his lifelong dream of feeding an Asian an In-n-Out burger patty in the hopes of Tiger Wooing her, but no they sent his ass back home to New Hampshire where there are no Asians. Completely fucked up in my opinion. Finally, and this is really my only proof that NBC is missing out on the sexcapades happening in Vancouver, I give you Confident Bay. Even he confidently whines about how he’s missing out on all the blonde olympic bombshells clubbing it up with atheletes he wishes he was as dope as. He thanks two blonde girls for providing him the pictures to prove it, but wishes there were more white girl videos for him to bay off to.

Failures

Tiger Wood's Wife Eats It During Super-G Photo ©Wally Skalij /Los Angeles Times

On a lighthearted note, NBC is completely missing out on the fails. While riding the bench I got front row seats to all the on-the-road, in game catastrophes. I got to see all the gym class heroes lose a game (that we controlled the first 3 qtrs of) by airballing a last minute three in the 4th. I’ve seen showoffs completely Spazz Palmitiere out while attempting a break away layup with no one on them. All the other students missed out on these epic events since they didn’t travel on the road with us. They still pictured these athletes as more than human. Kudos to Vancouver for assembling such intense and challenging courses to push these athletes to their limits. Thanks to the folks in Vancouver, we now get to see how human these athletes really are. On the other hand, NBC WONT PUBLISH ANY AMERICANS LIKE LINDSEY VONN BUSTIN HER ASS DURING SLALOM. NBC has done a great job censoring all the falls they don’t want America to see. Here’s the only three, thus my favorite, falls that I could find:

• Swede gets da ill concussion so he can score a nurse he met at bar last night.
• Guido Finishes Race on his Ass (NBC publishes this, I wonder why…)
• Cross Country skier thinks of the amount of sex she’ll be having once race is over and forgets to make turn

They are Jocks

San Diego Chargers Quarterback Philip Rivers At The Olympic GamesPhoto © Mike Hewitt/Getty Images

Finally, Let’s not forget that the students at the top 10% of the basketball team were also at the bottom 10% of academia. Being that I was the only nerd on the team, I got to experience first hand how dumb and douchey jocks are. NBC is missing out of this kind coverage. Here are a few I found.

• Most of these MFs don’t even know how to lip synch to their national anthem.
• MF mistake’s medal for an In-n-out burger patty and ends up chipping his tooth

What NBC needs to do

It’s no suprise NBC sucks at covering the olympics. If they wanted to not suck they’d do the following:

• Have a special section on their website dedicated to the dirt that’s going around in the olympics.
• Have a special video section dedicated to falls and make them EMBEDDABLE and shareable.
• Stop jumping from competition to competition. I don’t want to watch figure skating in the middle of Super-G alpine. I’ve missed a lot of falls because of this.
• Stop dickriding the American athletes and give all athletes equal time.
• Commercial segments should be followed with best crash of the day
• Get rid of those bullshit stories you write around the athletes.  Everyone, except Tea Party America, knows they are phoney.  Replace with after hour pictures and/or videos of the athletes partying and picking up girls (or guys if they’re a figure skater). If a few saps care how Apolo Ohno grew up, point them to his wikipedia page.

What about you?

What would you like to see in the olympics? What do you think NBC needs to do to make the olympics coverage better? I leave you with what I wish NBC would show after each commercial break:

Well let me get to it…as we all know, a few weeks back Eldrick ‘Tiger’ Woods was outted due to his infidelities.  Note this didn’t impact most of America unless you were Elin, his children, family, business partners and possibly friends.  Everyone else… not at all. Yet for some reason, because Tiger is a role model (more on that in a sec) – he owed the public at large an apology.  BULLSHIT.  For various reasons, the aforementioned parties were certainly owed an apology and an explanation.  Beyond that, he owed everyone else 2 fingers (on the same hand for peace) and that’s about it.  The only thing funnier than the unnecessary staged apology was the pre and post apology outrage and analysis.  I’m pissed because not only was this not necessary, but it also ruined a day of sports radio during a slow sports new cycle.

First, you had the Golf writers of America association who boycotted the event due to an inability to ask questions.  And there was the post game analysis looking at his body language and analyzing his sincerity.  Why does it matter?  This is again an issue of the public putting its faith in public figures simply because they have a unique talent.  And more times than not, the talent isn’t leadership, but something athletic.  Role models should be parents, mentors, community figures, people who actually have a vested interest in your success and can really give you a good example for how to pattern your self.  Beyond that, if we have to place these public figures on a pedestal, model a certain part of yourself after the ‘public portion’ of them.  In Tiger’s case, his determination and focus on the golf course can be applied else where in the lives of others. But he isn’t nor was he ever (before the infidelity came out) a role model. He didn’t ask to be, nor should he have been.

Like I said, Eldrick owed me nothing and everyone who thinks he does, should really look in the mirror….

The one bright side is waiting to see how he gets roasted over the next few days by late night / sketch shows…

Tiger WOOOOOO (skip to 2:55…)

25 Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training

(ALL NFL TEAMS/Training Camps…See Below).

They do it to get a crown that will not last

(2007 16-0 Undefeated Season Patriots, but fail in Superbowl) ;

but we do it to get a crown that will last forever

(2007 NEW YORK GIANTS Superbowl Champions).

26 Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly (Chad Ochocinco);

I do not fight like a man beating the air (Ray Lewis).

27 No, I beat my body and make it my slave (Ray Lewis, again)

so that after I have preached to others (Kurt Warner),

I myself will not be disqualified for the prize (Cowboys).

…as many of you know, I am a native New Yorker.  Growing up in the this city, a story that many can relate to is as follows:  Learned about and enjoyed baseball, but getting a field to play on with equipment was virtually impossible.  Football was relegated to the streets for the same reason, lack of field and equipment – so learning the fundamentals around blocking, tackling technique etc. was lost on me. But basketball….all that was needed for basketball was an inflated basketball, a hoop and an even number of people.  So, for me and many others, basketball was where it was…Part of the reason why I believe NYC is called the mecca of basketball is because it is the sport everyone plays, without exception. So who killed it? One man is responsible.  His name is James Dolan.  The same man who was mentioned in the root of the NYC MTA article I wrote a few days back, has committed a much more egregious crime .  He killed basketball, murdered the mecca through mismanagement and an overvalued sense of sense.  The member of the lucky birth club, the spoiled rich kid has treated the team as his toy and has made moves based on “his idol worship” of basketball figures like Isiah Thomas, rather than basketball people.  The NBA had to step in to advise him to get a real GM to run this team rather than keeping Isiah, cause he’s so cool.  Note: prior to Isiah, the spoiled lil rich kid wanted Magic Johnson, but opted for the next best thing – a man who has failed at every level of his professional post playing days.  Prior to the merciless destruction of the Knicks under Dolan’s watch, Thomas had a track record that ran like a rap sheet.  Toronto Raptors, while drafting well (to give credit, he’s a really good scout and should have been nothing more than an advance scout – but his name opened doors his skill didn’t warrant) could not even achieve a record of more than 25 wins.  Thomas then subsequently purchased and bankrupted the CBA in a matter of 3 years.  But he wasn’t done building his post playing resume.  He then went on to run the Indiana Pacers into years of failure, going no further than the first round of the playoffs with excellent teams stacked with talent…

James Dolan, not without failure, probably saw a kindred spirit in Isiah.  But unlike Zeke, Dolan had never earned or done anything in his life on his own.  He was handed Cablevisions investment in one of the best chains of electronic stores in NYC, resulting in losses of $250MM & also purchased a movie cinema chain that generated little to no revenue.

In 1999 James Dolan took over ownership of the New York Knicks.  That same year, he hired Dave Checketts, the architect of the 90’s NY Knicks.  All was not lost yet, as Ernie Grunfled took over and managed. He did a decent job until Dolan began exerting more of his power.  He brought in Scott Layden, an unremarkable Utah Jazz executive who was well over his head in NYC. He managed a few more playoff runs based off of the work of others and spent money wildly, without reason, in an attempt to recapture past glory rather than rebuilding.  There is a myth that you can’t rebuild in NYC, when in fact the Knicks have proven that you can rebuild. But, why bother when you can create a club the wrong way.

Layden’s last year proved to be the final stage for the Knicks to enter into the really dark ages. Isiah Thomas was brought in by Dolan who idolized him and he proceeded to trade away the future for a worse present.  The team got worse and worse.  This made his CBA failure pale in comparison – He and Dolan were in the process of ripping the heart out of basketball in the city.  Real fans realized this and became more disenfranchised.

“Super” fans like Spike (if its black, its good!) Lee applauded the move and continued to jump around in support of his team (and he can now have it, given the state of affairs). The Knicks went from a bad stretch to the Clippers of the east.

Thanks for nothing

The team has spent the last 2 years attempting to get out from under Isiah’s mess, which no one within the organization seems to admit was a mistake (including “super” fan Spike “jump around” Lee.) Then he proceeded to cheat the fans by putting out a less than compelling product on the court in hopes of landing a great free agent or 2 in the summer of 2010.  My guess is that none of the big free agents came to NYC, people talk….and the Knicks does what only the Knicks can do and that is overpay for 3rd tier players and manage to barely get back to winning, but not get any where closer of bringing a championship to NYC.  In the end,  Dolan’s goal is to turn a profit by simply qualifying for the playoff and getting the 89th game in for revenue’s sake.  I highly doubt tha Dolan cares anything about a championship.  He thinks so highly of his business management that he fails to remember how little he knows about business or about basketball given his “rise to power.” Playoff run? Possible, but true success? No way. Not under Dolan’s run. Sadly NY has come to grips with this and pretty much has given up, leaving NYC basketball dead. At least we can be thankful the spoiled rich kid didn’t buy the Yanks…

So this is my first post on Streetverse, I go by Italian0, and I’m a blunt, brash person from North Jersey.  Enough about that, I find myself to be very cynical on many things these days. I wanted to talk about 3 things in particular though right now:

1. Technology has definitely ruined society as a whole, especially in America- Pointing back to Freewill’s earlier post about how he noticed NO ONE reading ANYTHING on the subway in NYC, this is exactly my point.  Think about the days before the internet was a daily use organism for most people.  TV Shows were better, such as New York Undercover, Martin, Simpsons (way better before internet age), and even ESPN-way way better.  Music WAS DEFINITELY better.  I am an avid hip-hop fan and we all know today’s hip-hop is the equivalent of the Cleveland Browns.  Even other genre’s the majority would agree pre-internet was way better.  People these days don’t even have face to face conversations, just hit each other on the TWEETS with “LOL”’s “LMAO”’s or “GTFOH”’s, in the next decade you will see even more hobbits in the world.

2.  PEYTON MANNING IS A BABY- Well after last night’s NON HANDSHAKE with anyone on the Saints this is definitely true.  Ok, the man is a top 5 NFL QB ever, but he always seems to be crying on the bench about someone that isn’t him doing something completely wrong.  Sometimes he is right, half the time not so much.  Don’t let Jim Caldwell (Colts Coach) have you fooled, the real coach of the team is Peyton.  He calls AWWWWWWL da shots…notice he can audible out of ANY PLAY at ANY TIME to a pass….man has MAD POWER to the likes of Pol Pot during the Khmer Rouge.  Also, this video clip of Peyton cussing out his rookie runningback always gets me to laugh:

Peyton herbing out Donald Brown

3. THICK Vs. FAT- Ok, so I currently live in the trans fat capital of America….The South (specifically Atlanta).  People eat here like tomorrow is the last day of the value meals at McDonalds, therefore obviously there are TONS of fat people in Atlanta.  One thing I have noticed is that many fat women (or headed there) call themselves THICK.  Please refer to point 1 I made above about technology, the internet and the many webcams out there have given fat chicks a way to be very divisive in angle photography as to not look fat at all.  I’m also not gonna lie, I’ve done the online dating thing several times before and notice this;  catchwords like “average”, “comfortable” and “healthy size” all REALLY mean fat.  Now 97% of THICK women are really just fat, there ARE 3% probably who by definition are Thick and have a good shape, it’s just way under the amount what the women here have you think.