StreetVerse

Why Carl’s Jr. Is a Bad Investment (Part I: Menu)

Posted By: The Rational Investor
Filed Under: Finance, Food on March 18, 2010

For those just beginning to read, this is Part I of a three part series. Read the introduction to catch up. In short, Wendy’s is considering purchasing Carl’s Jr’s parent company. I think it’s a bad idea and I think Jack-in-the-Box is a much better investment. In this part we’ll look at the menu selection of Carl’s and compare it to the menu of Jack. It’s obvious, but let me remind you that the menu is the companies product offering. It’s essentially the only thing that will put black ink on a fast food company’s books outside of their investments. It’s a huge discriminator in keeping your ocean blue and moat wide enough so that a competitor won’t simply imitate what you have done.

Frankly, Carl’s has focused way too much on their burger product line and has alienated their demographic to people like me (young males) that enjoy hamburgers. This is an ok strategy, but if its your M.O. to focus on burgers and ignore the rest of the fast food offerings, then focus on a small number of types of burgers and then make the selection of toppings the discriminator. In-n-out does this well by having a very limited menu and then having the customers feel special by putting together their own creations with off menu items like the a triple triple and animal style. Cold stone creamery (a/k/a white people’s ice cream) also does this well by offering their mediocre ice cream and then letting the customer choose from a set of prototypes or attempt to make the most disgusting thing possible (one again making the customer feel special). This allows them to mark up their ice cream at like 200%. In terms of selection of burgers, I counted 28 different kinds of burgers to choose off of carl’s menu. 28. This seems silly to me. Is there really a difference between the Big Hamburger and the Famous Star? All that is changing from burger to burger are the toppings and they’ve preselected those toppings for you. Jack has a total of 10. Jack use’s different kinds of meat and breads and cheeses and sizes in each one of these burger. In other words, they change more than just the sauce.

"By all means eat the left hand side one... ya stewpid" - Stylish Bay

Every few months Carl’s introduces a new burger, takes a tally of how it does, then determines to keep it as a long term menu item.  These pathfinders are pointless and wasteful because the burger is the exact same thing as everything else on the menu and people know what burgers taste like and what toppings taste like.  If they think for themselves they’ll say something like “Hmm, jalapenos? Hmm, cheese? Hmm, burger? That shit must taste bomb.  I’m going to order it.”  On the other hand if they see an advertisement for a topping of prime rib on the burger, they’ll immediately gag and say fuck that I’m not ordering that.  This poor sap actually ordered the burger, but at least the kid gives an excellent review on just how shitty the Prime Rib burger was and warned us to stay away. I should bookmark him based on pity.

Anyway, as long as Carl’s continues to try to just be “the best burger” and not offer up the gay factor (i.e. selection of your own toppings) they’ll fail to capture the kid, female and elderly market. Kid’s like sugar and toys. Give them the option to put sugary syrup on their shit. Females love pretty looking sandwhiches. Give them the option to select their own wrapper with some sparkly, shiney shit on it. Elderly like a lot for a little. Give them the option to sign up for senior citizen coupons mailed to their homes. These little things go a LONG way and no other fast food place is doing it. My girlfriend doesn’t like burgers, but doesn’t mind the teriyaki burger at Carl’s. Small facts like this should be capitalized on. Women want to eat your burgers Carls, you’re just a mysognist by ignoring their hunger for the sake of mine. Niche companies that can easily expand to new markets make bad investments.

In terms of breakfast, Carl’s and Jack’s selection is nearly identical. One difference is the Jack’s breakfast bowl. This bowl is almost like what a normal breakfast looks like. I see scrambled egg somewhere in there. The main difference between the two breakfast menus is that Jack has a 24/7 breakfast and carl’s stops at 11:30. Stylish bay thinks this is stewpid. Why the fuck are you going to stop serving breakfast @ 11 am when most male college students wake up at that time and aren’t in the mood for a burger yet. This a sign of Carl’s not being in touch with their customers. Lazy companies make bad investments.

Before I invest in Carl’s I want to see them targetting the female market. One way is by focusing more on their fish and chicken menu. Their sandwhiches taste great, but everything is charbroiled (most women I know don’t like this flavor -- again it’s anti-shiney/glittery), and once again nothing interesting to choose from. The only sub-interesting item on the chix/fish menu is the chicken stars, but I’ve never once heard of anyone ordering them. Jack has the chicken teriyaki bowl, chicken fajita pita (which is effing gross by the way), mini buffalo ranch chix. Three very interesting and different items that girls I eat with here usually want me to order for them.

Both will put you back $3, yet only one includes jello shots.

Finally the sides menu is a major discriminator between the menus. When I go to Carl’s it usually works like this:

TRI: Two big carls.
Carl’s Jr. Cashier: K, will that be all?
*TRI scans the sides menu and done after a 3 item scan*
TRI: Yes.
Carl’s Jr. Cashier: Ok, that’s a total $5.00.
TRI: Can you make that one big carl?
Carl’s Jr. Cashier: Ok, that’s a total $2.50.

When I step into a Jack things work out a bit different:

TRI: One Jumbo Jack and two tacos.
Jack-in-the-box Cashier: K, will that be all?
*TRI scans the sides menu*
TRI: Large curly fries.
Jack-in-the-box Cashier: K, anything to drink?
TRI: Nah.
Jack-in-the-box Cashier: Total of $4.50.
TRI: Can you throw in another two tacos?
Jack-in-the-box Cashier: Alright, that’s a total of $5.50.

Carl’s sides are non existent. Their fries are good, but boring. The criss cut fries are never enough and leave me wanting more but I won’t since it’s ~$2.50 and their fried zucchini is overpriced. Nearly all Jack’s sides are interesting and of good value. Stuffed jalapenos (bomb), egg rolls (bomb), tacos (bomb), curly fries (bomb), bacon/cheddar potato wedges (never had because I don’t eat pork, but if its a puerto rican pig they use then bomb). I usually don’t mind paying $5+ dollars just for me because I feel like I’m getting so many different things. Companies with sub-par products (weak sides in this case) make bad investments.

Winner in Menu selection: Jack’s by a long shot. More extensive menu, better values and I didn’t mention it because I’m a goddamned objectivist, but I still like their sirloin burger better than all of Carl’s 28 burgers. Carl’s menu doesn’t appeal to kids, women and the elderly with exception to a few items.

Next part of the Carl’s Jr. series will be on advertisements where I’ll expose how unbelievably crap Carl’s ad campaigns are in comparison to Jack’s.

About the Author

The Rational Investor whirlwinds through streetverse at a crazy rate. He holds a G.E.D. in Illness.