Oscar Recap: An Awkward Night

Posted By: Sally Vox
Filed Under: Movies, Opinion on March 8, 2010

Well, last night was a sad night. Worst predictions I’ve made since, well, since ever.

I knew one of the top films would sweep, (Hurt Locker, Avatar), I just chose the wrong one. After Hurt Locker beat out Tarantino in the script category, I basically lost all hope. It was devastating to me that a typical, war story script (I’ve read the script twice) would beat out one as unique and as masterful as the tome Mr. Tarantino has penned. Also, some of the choices for the smaller categories: Short Doc, Short Live Action, Foreign Film, etc. were baffling, ignoring the more relevant and critically acclaimed pieces for the more…emotionally manipulating? In a time of severe economic downturn, every movie dealing with the subject was grafted. Up in the Air, Closing of a GM Plant, the White Ribbon—all failed to capture any awards. Maybe the Cove’s award made sense…who can’t be moved by slaughtered dolphins. Hmm…After Slumdog Millionaire won last year (15 million budget) and Hurt Locker (12 million budget)…maybe they are awarding the most frugal directors? Hurt Locker is no Slumdog though.

Besides the choices of winners (I’ve come to accept that the awards will never be good measures of future relevance, case in point: Citizen Kane, 2001 Space Odyssey, Star Wars, Vertigo, Alfred Hitchcock in general, Raiders of the Lost Ark, etc.) but at the state of affairs of the show itself.

Lack of major stars in the top films left many viewers jaded at the, shall i say, circle jerk of actors on stage. After last years horrible, horrible presentation of the best actor/actress awards, I would have thought the Academy would have learned its lesson. Nope. It did it again this year except with even more awkwardness peppered in—people who worked with the actress/actor in previous projects (sometimes in very ancillary ways) came up on stage and basically jerked the actor for a few seconds.

The hosts were lifeless! Jokes were flat and cringe-worthy, voices monotone, and both judges had an air of “assholeness” emanating around them. My god, for two comedians of their experience and abilities to host in such a manner…it’s inexcusable. It’s almost as if they were kidnapped and replaced with Skrulls. Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin shame on you.

steve-martin-and-alec-baldwin

Typical rehash of dead people and past winners in clip shows. I have heard of the individuals—the writer of Ferris Bueller especially—but for the typical American, it must have been a big yawnfest. Nothing new to see here. I must say I enjoyed the horror tribute (but WHY THE HELL was Twilight included in it, alongside Jason, Freddy, Exorcist girl, Samara from the Ring, etc.)

Ben Stiller came out in full Avatar makeup, complete with fishing hook controlled tail. At first I laughed…then it got awkward…then it got sad. Stiller started busting out broken Na’Vi, which essentially made him realize how big of an error his decision had been. He began to bite his lip in frustration, a look of “Mistake. Big Mistake.” on his face. When his prehensile tail started moving on his own during the nominee reading, he stated, “Seriously? Now?” and yanked the line away from the stagehand. If this was planned, it came off as a bit dickish. If it wasn’t planned…well…*cue guy screaming from far away* AWKWARD . I felt almost sorry for the guy–he just wanted a few laughs.

The worst, worst, worst decision of the show, and I say this lightly, was the urban dance rendition of the soundtrack nominees. It was just…wrong. It was the members of America’s Best Dance Crew breakdancing to each soundtrack. Really? Mr. Director of the Oscars, I say to you…REALLY? Oh, maybe it’s because the director of the show this year had something to do with ABDC (like, I d’know directing that too). Just a sad, sad state of affairs. At least go with the music, for the love of God. Someone liquid popping to neo-classical music is just…I can’t really think about it anymore, my blood is beginning to boil.

The speeches were just like they always are, the stand out to me being Sandra Bullock. She received her award with grace and charm, as it should be. The rest were pretty hohum…or in a Kanye moment, very awkward. Oh, and did anyone notice Bigelow’s creepy abusive husband arm grab during the Best Picture speech? Awkward. Oh! How about that ending? Tom Hanks runs out…”Best picture, Hurt Locker, ok bye!” Nice. Hey, I know how you can save some time, Academy. CUT THE STUPID CIRCLE JERK SHIT.

One more thing. I like how Hurt Locker only began to win awards during their advertising blitz from January-Febuary (BAFTAS, Writing Guild, and Oscars). Mo’Nique in her best supporting actress speech said  “Thank You Academy for giving this to the person most deserving of the award and not succumbing to politics.” First of all, way to be a dick and saying you owned the rest of the candidates. Second, “not succumbing to politics?”, uhh no.

Let’s just say I’ll be valuing the Golden Globes much more next year. Stay classy, Hollywood. *eyeroll*

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Comments (5)

 

  1. The Rational Investor The Rational Investor says:

    I still don’t understand why you Avatar fanboys hate on Hurt Locker. Avatar was essentially reading a comic book and hurt locker was reading a war journal. While the Amazing Spiderman is an entertaining read it will never be read in a Lit class where as something like Michael Herr’s Dispatches would. While both have artistic value, one stands out as worthy of study. And Hurt Locker typical war movie? How typical is Avatar once you remove the added depth dimension? For the most part I think the academy got their picks right. It was an overall shitty movie year, so expect someone like Bullocks to win.

    P.S. Tarantino’s Bear Jew movie is prob the most average movie he’s put out. Luckily he has that POS Jackie Brown, Kill Bill 2 and death proof, otherwise it wouldve been his worst.

  2. Sally Vox Sally Vox says:

    I think you misunderstand what value I place on Avatar. I’m not a fanboy. I understand it’s faults, which are many, some of them unforgivable and deserving of all the hatorade the internet is capable of summoning. I was merely observing the only two choices that had any chance of winning. If you want my personal opinion, I hated the story of Avatar, I just like arguing for my own socratic development. My hate of hurt locker isn’t from my avatar fanboyness but from my analysis of it’s merits and faults which it too has. The script, while technically proficient, lacked sincerity and tact, treating soldiers with anything but respect. My cousin was brought to tears by the movie which treats soldiers as cowboys addicted to blood rage and adrenaline. This is all done with the purpose of being unique. Direction wise, the movie lacked continuity, clarity of purpose, and the camera work was uninspired. If avatar stole it’s story, hurt locker stole it’s angles, it’s camera grain, it’s camera movement. When looked at as a full product hurt locker did not add anything new to cinema or to writing. The most innovative part of hurt locker was in it’s sound mixing and editing, which to me is the major element that created it’s much praised suspense.
    I seek not to be a “fanboy”, I seek to present information that is not as common. I was tired of seeing all the avatar hate, so I found good things about it. Hurt locker was praised to no end, but it is in no way, a perfect movie. As for the academy, I’ve always had contempt for their choices, I am just boiling over the smear campaign ran by the hurt lockers producer.

  3. Sally Vox Sally Vox says:

    oh, and I understand your opinion on inglourious basterds, to many people it was masturbatory in it’s references, etc. But when you put all those little wink wink nudges together you get a movie that worships the medium of cinema, which to a movie lover like me, is pure cocaine. You have to admit it’s quotable, at least. It’s the type of script that gets studied and dissected. Cheers mate

  4. The Rational Investor The Rational Investor says:

    Alrite, well with the oscar picks snubbing hurt locker and avatar winning everything it came off a bit fanboyish. My apologies. I am a war movie and hurt locker fan boy. I haven’t experienced a war movie of its caliber since Taegukgi. To me the story itself is what sells a movie more so than contributions to the art. I liked how everything was subtle about the story. All the bullshit conflicts the soldiers were going through trying to find meaning all ended inconclusive, yet they were still addicted to the battle. Tarantino’s film sorta achieved subtleness, but I felt there was too much going on to pick up on the key point (i.e. girl getting shot before she starts fire (what value did this add to the story besides a twist?)). I think the Oscars typically reward subtle storytelling (no country for old men, hurt locker) or a special technique in telling of the story (slumdog, crash). I don’t think they’ll dickride contributions to art until they are realized after 10-20 years have passed. That’s why someone like Clint Eastwood won for a mediocre movie that he made (unforgiven) like 80 years after he starred in the greatest western of all time (good the bad the ugly). And Terminator didn’t win but a hat’s off goes to cameron 80 years later with Titanic winning best picture. Anyway, thanks for the clarification on your thoughts.

  5. Sally Vox Sally Vox says:

    Re: Inglorious, My take on the movie was that it was all about the ability for people to pretend to be something they are not and the consequences that brings (Language is the biggest medium Tarantino uses here). The whole movie, that Fred Zoller acts nice/polite albeit a little forward. It is when he shows his “true self (e.g. a horny dick)”, he is punished for it. Soshanna keeps up a “tough girl” front the whole movie, until she shows her true compassionate self by getting in close…then BAM, hand of God justice. This is true for many of the characters in the movie: Snooty british guy is killed when his disguise is removed. Frau von Hammersmark is choked to death when her true self is revealed. Hans Landa, the master of facade, has, arguably, the worst punishment in the movie. The winners? Aldo Raine, who stays true to himself even in disguise (Bonjorno.) He can only ever be himself, for which he is rewarded. Im trying to work hitler and goebbels into my theory but it’s difficult. A+ for you for liking Taegukgi, my favorite korean movie ever.

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