StreetVerse

Carry Out = RIP Radio

Posted By: indosage
Filed Under: Opinion on February 11, 2010

I heard this song today by Justin Timberlake. (PAUSE. Reflect… Compose and blame this atrocity on the fact that the cd player in my car is kaput and that it doesn’t support an auxiliary connection to an mp3 player.) I heard it for the first time on the radio and I think it’s a new song, though I really can’t be too sure about these things nowadays. Now before I go into the song, I’d like to say that I’m usually the type of person who tries to benefit the songwriter or the performer by suspending disbelief if I have to, in order to give credence to an individual’s craft. In the past, I’ve come to the defense of an artist’s lyrics whenever my significant other — who, by the way, must have an express lane for song meanings on the top of his head because things like that always just go over him-- bashes or questions a song’s credibility. I’d do so even for the most indefensible of verses.

In one instance, the Rational Investor protested, “This song is wack,” while he sat in my car listening to a Jay-Z and Alicia Keys collaboration.

“C’mon, she’s trying to convey how most people perceive New York city. The big lights and the streets and stuff. It’s supposed to be uplifting,” I said in an effort to explain.

“Well, it’s not that dope,” he snapped.

At times, I’d been frustrated at my incredulous partner’s insults over songs that I truly believe need no explanations. Their merits are obvious. Songs like Sade’s Sweetest Taboo or The Eagles’ Hotel California only suffer from a downgrade in spite of my enlightening analyses. That’s just what you come to expect when you’re a music lover. Except that I really can’t conjure up any fervor for music when the ugly truth hits me. And this is exactly what happened when my ears  heard such poop laced lyrics as these:

“Baby, you’re lookin’ fire hot/I’ll have you open all night like an IHOP” … “Cause it’s me, you, you, me, me, you, all night/Have it your way, foreplay before I feed your appetite/Let me get my ticket baby let me get in line/I can tell the way you like it baby supersized/Hold on, you got yours, let me get mine/I ain’t leavin’ till they turn over the closed sign.”

I mean, what can I say after that… “I’m hungry?”

Such class, such artistry, such cleverness and wit obviously eluded Mr. Timberlake.

It would be a challenge for anyone to try and convince me that this song deserves to be on the radio. It was a good thing I heard Method Man and Mary J Blige’s “All I Need” right after. Otherwise, I think I would’ve wished for some second hand smoke or something. Anything is better than this  piece of radio doo doo.

About the Author

I have equal love for reading, eating, sewing, crafting, watching movies and saying the phrase "eff outta here with that shit!"